Always live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so.
» Josh Billings

Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
» Spike Milliga

Bank accounts give a person a good feeling until they realize that banks are insured by an agency of a federal government that's over two trillion dollars in debt.

Last week I got a $5000 home improvement loan from my bank. I'm sending the kids to college.
A guy walked into a bank and said, "I want to open a joint account with somebody who has money."

Banks lend billions to Third World countries, but for us they chain down pens.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

I went to the bank and went over my savings. I found out I have all the money that I'll ever need. . . if I die tomorrow.
» Henny Youngman

A banker is a guy who charges you high interest to borrow someone else's money.

I went golfing with my banker, but never again. Every time I yelled FORE he yelled CLOSURE.

Banks will loan you money if you can prove you don't need it.
» Mark Twain

Banks have a very interesting philosophy. You give them your money to keep -- and if you try to borrow it back, they want to know if you're good for it!

A robber shoved a note under a bank teller's window which said, "I've got you covered. Hand over all the money in the cage and don't say a word." The teller opened the cash drawer and wrote something down. Then he closed the drawer and returned the note to the robber. On the back he had written, "Kindly go to the next window; I'm on my lunch hour."

Banking & Money Humor From Tom Antion & Associates
» http://www.antion.com/humor/speakerhumor/bankingmoney.htm